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Snakes on a plane on a plane

2007, crap, review

I suppose if you've got to see it anywhere, seeing “Snakes on a Plane” on a plane is probably the best way to go about doing it.

Honestly, what were they thinking? I mean, it generated a log of noise on-line if only because advance previews were given to People Who Have Opinions, and their Opinions were that If I've Been Allowed To See It Before Release, I Must Say Good Things About It. Frankly, reputation is an easy currency to spend on-line, but difficult to acquire; I hope that this is a message that others heed in the future ...

The basic storyline is a brief set-up of some witness who will testify against a powerful crime organisation (frankly, it's such a dim storyline that I forget the exact details) and that this witness needs to be flown from Point A to Point B to testify. The crime organisation hears of this, somehow installs several hundred snakes on a plane with a time-release to let them out, and leaves them to their work. Oh, and somehow, they're all crazed and want to attack people (the theory being that there's pheromones in the air).

If that doesn't make enough sense, then you get to see snakes not only navigating through a plane, but being able to burst up through entirely sealed systems and through floors, flying through the air like the snakes-in-a-tin toys of yesteryear, and to one unfortunate couple joining the mile high club attaching themselves to predicable places.

Oh, and both pilots croak (obviously) and so the guy in the back who's flown flight simulator lands the plane, ignoring advice to land into wind and yet somehow manages to stop the plane and make the turn at the end of the runway without the use of reverse thrust.

This isn't so bad to make the Worst Film of All Time (that mantle still held by The Core) but rather bad enough to give it a miss watching at all. In fact, the only amusing thing (other than a plot worse than a porno film) is the excuse that this witness is so important that all the first class passengers are moved back into coach to guarantee the safety of this guy. As a result one of them asks "Is it safe to travel in coach?"