There's not many times you can get away with a headline such as this one. I did try some other ones that didn't quite make it:

• Wrong kind of bird on the line
• What's the last thing that goes through a bird's mind when it gets hit by a train?
• Pigeon pie
• "It's a pigeon, Bert"

Anyway, what happens when you have an argument with a 120 mile-an-hour train is that you lose, regardless of whether you're of the feathered variety or not.